Silent Love Part: 15
The days were passing quick, the weekend came and Gopal’s family left to the village, and Maheswari opt to stay in with in-laws till the college re opens as Gopal suggested that idea. Dev finding one or the other excuse, avoided his trips to village. Dev got busy with new project works and his evenings were more lonely and the gazals from the stereo system filled the nights and his mind’s agony. He watered the roses , and dust the scooter, he just take a round around before Gopal show up his face in. He stared at the neighbor house window, he wished that to open to listen to those melodious lines, and he could imagine her standing near the window and listening to it closing her eyes, but once in a while her eyes rolled up and she met his eyes, and he tried to exchange that small chirpy smiles.One weekend Gopal left to the village and Dev stayed back saying that he has to finish some important work on the project. He waited for the late evening, looking around, he did that high jump over the fence, he went behind and tried to open the door, but the latch was completely pulled on. He looked for options, and luckily one of the window doors, showed little space, but unfortunately he failed in his attempt to get it open. But his trials went on and final try to reach the top latch in the back door by standing on a stool helped him to reach out for it and the stretch helped him to push it further down to open it . He felt some relief; he looked around, and then slid in, and closed the door behind tight.
He turned the light on. The difference was clear; many things were moved out of place. He re arranged everything and then went to the front hall. He pulled the curtains well and turned the light on inside the dining hall. He slowly walked to Radhika’s room, he never stepped into that room, even that day she lay in Padma autie’s room only.
He went near the table, he sat there and turned the table lamp on. He stretched out, and try to look to the side, but the windows were closed. He slowly opened one of them. He looked up at his window which was open too. He opened the drawer and found one of her recent photo which he took her sitting on the scooter, and gave to Padma auntie. He picked it up and said ‘two more weeks Radhika, you will be coming, right, and you will be staying with us this time, mom and dad won’t let you stay here in this house all alone”
He tried to bring a smile as he was telling it : and you know what, your roses are so happy, I told them too, and ha forgot to tell , last week that plant seller came, I brought one rose from him, he gave another one saying to give to you, he came to know about it, and he felt bad too, he said he doesn’t have anything else to give to you. And then, then what else, every night I am standing near that window, to see your face to show up near this window, you know what the gazal is playing and I can hear it so clearly from here, but you used to write something , right? Um what is it, a diary, where is it? Let me check what was that you were so into it, um. He checked inside that drawer and found her diary, he picked her picture in his hand “ I know Radhika, it is not good to read someone’s diary, this maybe holding something special that you don’t want to share with everyone, right?. But what is it? Can I , please., you know why?, you always tried to hide from me, you always drawn a line to get near you, can I take the permission to break that line and come more closer to you now, maybe you don’t want, but I can’t, now itself it is too late, and when I see you next time , as dadaji said I am not going to waste any minute, I need you Radhika near me, see I have all the qualifications, after all I know what all were Padma aunties demands “a well secured job, and she even mentioned from chose someone from my office, so its fine, then a good family, that’s you already know, then who can accept you after hearing Padma aunties love story, even she doesn’t want to hide that either, and I know it completely and my mom herself played a part in it, so, I think I maybe the better choice, right. Ok then, now can I get your permission? Um”
But you are not here to give me the permission, so what do I do? Um. Ok, he picked a coin out, ok, I am going to spin it up, head, yes I can, .... tail….um.. I will wait, ok.
He waited for the coin to stop making its downfall and held it in his palm and covered with other. Looking at her photo he slowly opened it up and he smiled as he saw the head on it.
“see now I got the permission, so, you gave me the permission ok., so”
But then he looked around, and said : oh my, let’s go to my room ok. What if someone notice this light here and call that big Nani.
He turned the lights off, and sneaked out thru the back door and jumped over the fence and disappeared into his room. He anxiously fallen into his bed.
“sorry Radhika, you are the one never speak anything to me and avoid me , right? So this is the only way I can know you more, ok, so so sorry, but I want to feel you near me, its been long, I never expected this, I am missing you so much, I never thought you are this close to me and your acting of watering plants, your comings with pickles or pakoras, your hidings, more than anything those glances, I am missing everything Radhika, and now you are in an unknown place for me, and I cannot come there that easily, so I need to wait, but this distance is so painful, so for now I am going to hold onto this ok. Please forgive me if there is something that you never want to share with anyone at any cost, I promise I keep that in me, ok, just in me”, two drops of tears escaped from his eyes corner.. and he slowly opened the diary, and read the heading “silent love’
He turned each page, the music was playing in the background, and the fan was spinning above, he rolled onto his tummy and placing the diary on the pillow….. he continued his reading. The time was passing by. The darkness gave way to the light,
Dev woke up from sleep listening to the phone ring. He saw the diary near him, he was still holding it close to his heart, and his eyes were swollen. He lay there some more time looking at the ceiling, and the wings of the fan were still making its turns.
The time passed along with that spinning of that wings, he got busy with his project work, which kept him more engaged. Maheswari and Pari came back after the vacation. It was a struggle for Pari for couple of days to adjust to the emptiness in neighborhood, but she made it.
It was dinner time,
Pari: mom, Radhika is not back yet,the college will reopen tomorrow
Maheswari: I know Pari, but I thought she may come today, I waited too
Dev sat there silently munching onto the food just listening to their conversation
“so you think she may come to college directly?’
Mahi: maybe , I wish I have their number , we could have dialed na
Pari: can't you ask someone nearby, may be Subash mama, he might be knowing.
"anyway she will be coming tomorrow na, so let's wait, ok” Gopal said as he stood from the chair.
The night passed, the day came
Pari: Bro I am ready”
She came down, and Dev pulled his bike out. Pari looked at Radhika’s scooter and she felt sad “what do I do when I meet her today Bro”
He didn’t say anything, he just want to see her image at any cost, that’s it, nothing else.
His heart was pounding faster as he was nearing the college, maybe she is already here.... his mind was repeating that inside, and his eyes were scanning everywhere to spot her.
Pari got down slowly and she too looked around, few familiar faces but not Radhika.
Dev: you want to check in her class room
Pari: ha Bro, you wait here ok, you may also want to meet her na
“um”
As Pari left Dev parked the bike to a corner and waited , still scanning around, but then decided to move on inside by himself as he was getting more impatient. where are you Radhika, don’t hide anymore, are you watching me, can you see me already, please don’t hide from me anymore, you know my ache , right? Then . He walked on
Suddenly Pari came running : no Bro, she is not here anywhere, even I asked the teachers they don’t have any info either. You go, and if I meet her I will surely let you know ok.
Dev: I can wait some more time Pari
“no Bro, you go, the class is going to start soon, I will call you , ok, what if she is coming with someone so that she can stay in their home and all, that is why it may be getting late, or maybe they might have gone home first and getting late.
“ok then, I will move on, you go to class”
“ji” saying that Pari moved back and Dev drove away.
He called home to check and Mahi said there is no one in Radhika’s house either. His mind was getting disturbed, he waited this long with a hope that he can meet her this day and...?.
The wait continued for more than a month, each day he waited and Pari came back with same answer, he went to work with a very disappointed face
One Friday evening it was their dinner time:
“mom , let’s go to padma auntie’s house”
Mahi stopped munching and looked up at her son
“ha Mom, its been over a month after college started and Radhika still not here, and none of the teachers have any news, and the contact number belongs to this house, so no one knows anything about her, its not fair mom, at least we should enquire about her, its been already late, Padma auntie ‘s soul may be wishing it too mom, how can you just relax like this thinking she will be ok, she was not even knowing her nani, she just went along with them because the situation was such, but that doesn’t mean that we need to keep the distance”
He just mugged up everything that came onto his tongue
Maheswari looked at Gopal
“ha mom, Bro is correct, even though I was not here at that time, at least we should know what happened to her mom”
Pari supported her Brother’s talk
Maheswari again looked at Gopal
Gopal: I know what you two are saying, but who are we?
“dad, when we planned to shift to
Mahi: that’s because I know someone in this town and it si near to dad's work place a , so that it will be easy to settle and maybe some help for Pari to get adjust in college and all, kmowing Padma closely, you know.
“so, for Pari you did all these ,right, then what about Radhika , mom?, when she left , you said to her that you are here for her, and dad you also told her that she is like Pari, but then why everyone is finding one or the other excuse, I am not understanding that?”… He continued ‘ I still remember that moment mom, she was not leaving you, she was holding to you, but you let her go, and now as the time passed you think you don’t have any responsibility towards your friend, who tried to catch that college bus , so that Pari can go with Radhika in her scooter. I know everything mom, they used to go together, but then PAdma auntie only told Radhika that she has to go with PAri so that students at college won’t treat her as a new student and embarrass her around as the environment here may be different. They changed their routine for you mom, and you”
He got up from the chair and walked away with a heavy face
Maheswari looked at Gopal, and Pari also got up and left and followed her brother
Pari: Bro, how do you know all that?’
‘I came to know Pari, it is us who separated them, their time together”
“what are you saying bro?’
“nothing Pari, I just got , I am sorry” saying that he tried to walk into his room,
“let’s go to my place tomorrow, in your bike, I know I said that I don’t know their phone number, but I know their house, so get ready early in the morning ok”
Dev looked at his mom’s face and : mom, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, I just
“I know Dev, but we do care too beta, may be in this age, we also may think which is more safer, so,.... but I tried to call her, not once but few times, one time I got a chance to hear her voice, but then Ammaji didn’t let her speak, and after that I never got her online either, so. I know we didn’t tell you this, hid it from you guys, but not intentionally, thought not to worry you guys, I don’t know how they will react, but I will come. She is my Padma’s daughter, and I want to see her too’………..saying that Maheswari climbed down. Pari looked at Dev,….. “and ha only Dev and me”
Pari again looked at Dev listening to Mahi and they stood silently
Dev getting into his room, closed the door behind and then walking near the window, he looked out to hers “will I see you tomorrow , Radhika?, I waited so long, everyday I thought you may come, I will see your eyes, but, I believe Padma auntie’s soul is here around somewhere and she is seeing my pain too. Will she help me to see you?.....I will Radhika for sure, at least get a glance of you…….otherwise I won’t leave that place…If Padma auntie is with me, then I will surely see you Radhika, I am coming, I am……..
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