Dev opened his eyes as the bright lights from the sun pierced his closed lashes. He sat straight, he doesn’t know when he closed his eyes...., he pulled the chair near and was keeping his eyes on her only, but then .. getting up from it, he looked through the window, and her window was closed. His heart skipped few beats and his mind felt heavy, he ran to down stairs, within seconds he was closing the kitchen door in Radhika’s house.
“Radhika”
There was no response back
He called again walking into her room, the room was looking all empty,.. he called out softly..”Radhikaaa”
He came out from her room dragging his heavy legs to Padma’s room. That room also was looking empty
“Radhikaa.”
He stood there still looking around for her
Suddenly he heard a latch opening, and he turned, and found Radhika, coming out from the shower with the towel on her hair, her forearm held her laundry cloths, she turned around to close the bathroom door.
Taking a deep sigh , she turned to walk and then stopped surprisingly seeing the flushed face of Dev
“Dev!!” she asked surprisingly
“when did you come? Why you are standing like this?”
He just came and gave her a loose hug, RAdhika just stood in surprise
Moving back, he held her shoulder and said : for a minute I got scared, why did you close the window?
Radhika with a smile: you only told me , no one should know that I am here
“but , you should have told me na”
“Dev, how do I tell you, I looked up and could see only your shadow, so, you want me to shout from here? Dev, Dev, and if anyone here it?”
He just looked at her
“see , I had my shower"...., then extending her arm forward to his face , near his nose, she said with smile : this is the smell of my mom
He looked at her face, and found those eyes wetting along with a smile
“Radhikaa”
Radhika smiled again : Ha Dev, this is her smell, I really miss her, she is around na
Dev stood unable to say anything
“Radhikaa”
‘I know she miss me too”
Whoo told you to take bath here? hu? See “ wiping off her tears
“Don’t worry Dev, I am fine, I just, just wish to see her sleeping in that bed, and I can pour water over her, it was my turn na, but she ….”
Dev moved forward, and the dress from her arm slipped down to the floor and holding his T-shirt, she wept, and he just stood there with tear filled eyes too, loosely stroking her back trying to comfort her.
Few minutes passed by
“come on let’s go”
Radhika moved back and looked at his face, and just gace a wet smile again
"Radhika, we are getting late, let's go"
"um"
She picked her cloths and put that in a cover, followed him. She just looked as he closed the door behind.
****
Radhika cleaned the house and prepared food for everyone. They waited for Mahi to come. As she got down from the car, Radhika’s smile disappeared seeing her angry glare.
She looked at Dev , and he just wink his eye conveying to take it cool
Mahi looked at both and went in,
Gopal looking at Radhika : how are you beta
Radhika nodded her head saying she is good
Pari came and held RAdhik’s hand and went in.
As they got in Mahi started showering her all the worries for Radhika staying in that house alone, and her anger glares fell on both Dev and Radhika, and Dev looked at Radhika in a cool way with trying to control his smile, and finally Gopal got up and tried to calm down Mahi , but she still did not feel good, and was talking about the consequences that if it reach nani’s ears. Radhika looked at Dev and he blinked his eyes telling it is not going to happen.
Time ticked by, Radhika stood silently while Dev stood as if it is not even touching him. And looking at everyone Mahi went to her room, Pari took Radhika upstairs with her.
******
But then later when mahi saw the kitchen and everything she kind of try to soften herself but still she advised Radhika that it was not right, especially when Nani has put the lock on it .. but the time passed quick and later that evening they dropped Radhika back in hostel. She looked at Dev thankfully while taking her bag and try to pass that thankful smile.
*****************************
Two days just flew by, and as Dev went to drop Pari at college, he met Radhika, and along with reminding her of her own words, he passed that smile while watching her walking away.
Sitting inside that big air craft, his mind was seeing her, her smile, her tear filled eyes, but then the diary inside his palm, dragged his attention.. he opened those pages, which always gave him the confidence to move on to get her back to his life. He placed everything back in place before her entry into her home and he gave her space for herself to vent her mind and yes, now the words are clear in front of him, I wish to keep that distance from everyone mom, but he, with each day each moment, he is coming closer to me mom, as a very good friend. Her own words, yes, that’s where I am now, very close to her as a friend, but I can’t leave this friend for a minute away ....from in front of my eyes, the expectation to see her smile is the spirit to start the day, and then her face as it reflect on the mirror gives the relief, or it may be those flying end of the duppatta along with the breeze as I passby, and her smile of recognition of seeing me passing by, and as the smile comes near she pause for a moment and then say “good morning” and pass by. Wish to stop her and ask her about everything, but had to tight it to official letters or test preparations..
It was hard to convince her to open that PO box , it was hard to convince her to follow up on those official letters, which need her attention, and her response was “when you come back you only check and tell me what I need to do?’. Oh Radhika, maybe it was your try to believe that I am still with you, unknowingly you don’t want me to move away from you, you want me to tell everything, you want me to take care of everything, Radhika,… I wish I could.. , I don’t know how much you'll miss me, but I am going to miss you every day, every passing moment, the time that I spend with you this weekend, is to make you more confident, and how much you can handle it alone… to see how much you are near me,.. and now I know you are very closer to me Radhika, very closer, and that gives me pain too, don’t close that door again in front of my eyes, I won’t be able to take it in,...... I can’t call you every day, but I can surely check those mails, with the expectation that you will send one, with one or the other question, or to talk about your new talks with your Nani, your frustrations that you felt once you got back into that mansion, I hope you have something every day to share with me, that you cannot hold back within you, and feel that suffocation till you share it with your friend, will you Radhika, am I getting that closer to you?
“sir, anything to drink?”
The voice of the flight attendant grabbed his attention , keeping her diary back in his coat’s pocket, he asked for a soda.
****
Days passed, so do the weekend. Radhika felt little awkward seeing the smile on her Nani’s face, and the extra care and outings and shopping , but she just went along with everything.
As she came back to her hostel room, she took her dairy out which he gave as a gift, she turned the page to find the next empty lines, and with a childish face she wrote ‘ Dev, just come back, ok, what all you said, call Nani and talk to her, and behave well, pass the smile, give a hug. I didn’t give any hug and all, she was acting all smiley smiley, and I am sure if I say about my mom, then she will show her real face, still her words are echoing inside me...., it is painful Dev, but still I did it because you told me this is the only way I can get back to my home, but how Dev, this will only make her to take me back to that big house, she told me that she will send the car, and you don’t know how hard it was for me to make her convince that I cannot do that every weekend, you maybe enjoying in London na, come back, I will surely pull on your hair for making me do this, now I won’t call her at all, you see. The only thing happened was one more bag of new dresses. what am I going to do with all these, Dev?, you are the reason, come back, you are going to get it from me this time… but when you come, I want to spend one more weekend in my house, you were even able to comfort mahi auntie and you listened to all her angry words for making me stay like that, she was unable to believe it, but you heard everything with a smile on your eyes, looking at me winking your eyes saying “it’s ok” seeing my fearful face.
When will you be back Dev, I will wait, maybe you are enjoying the London street now, are you reading the book that I gave you, I almost finished that book series, two more left, but I will finish that soon too. Then again need to dig in library shelves.
With a smile she closed the diary and then looked at the book that was left closed with a bookmark, she picked it up and sat with her eyes scanning thru those letters.
****
Dev was checking his email with a hope she might have send one, at least the reply, but no , its been three weeks, Radhika, you promised me. The winter is getting stronger in
It was week four and as he was about to log off from work, he thought to check his personal emails quick, and there it is , a big surprise for him, very impatiently he opened it and read.
“Dev, how are you? I am not doing fine. Because of you now I am in trouble, Nani is not giving me any peaceful weekends, she is asking me “can I send the car, can I send the car”, whereas I am waiting for you to come back, so that I can spend some time in my home, with my mom, and because of you now Nani won’t let me. You better come back soon, or tell me what do I now?
I don’t know Dev what I am writing, and ha did you finish reading your book? It took me three hours to type these many letters, and don't even think about it.
Ok then
Bye
He put the hand over his lips with a folded manner thinking , again again again reading those letters to make words to sentence to understand it.. and finally moving that hand away from his lips he said “so you are missing me this time’
With one of the co workers call , signaling him back, he wrote only one line, and with a smile send back to her..
****
In a week she checked back the mail and frowned her brows : what?
Only one sentence “did you check the mailbox?’
She thought to self . what all I wrote and he worried about the mailbox
“No, I didn’t”
She wrote only that much and feeling little angry she left the seat.
But in four days she checked back her mail to see
“why not, better check, don’t want to miss any important letters”
She was not knowing what to write back, he sound serious, maybe there is somehitng which I need to check
She went to post office and checked the mail box, there were so many letters and papers
After sorting everything down she wrote back
“ha, I checked and I got letter from the insurance company asking me to submit this document… what do i do?"
He smiled seeing the response back within days, he replied
“good, keep everything safe, when I get there, I will look at it, ok”
She felt mad seeing the response, but she saw his comfort in that too, with a smile she sat back imagining his talks, and she started typing
“Dev
Thank you, sorry that I didn’t check it early, I know the importance of it , I will check ir regularly and let you know,
How is your days in London, loving there? Are you working only 8 hrs now? Or just like here only, my mid exams over, working for the test too, Principal mom told me if I pass out , I have high chance to get the job in same college because of mom’s incident.
Dev, I miss my mom a lot, now a days i don’t feel that emptiness, i wish to hear more about my mom...
Dev you should praise me, you know how much time I took to type these many letters in, my half day is gone, so no more
Buy and take care
Radhika
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